I know I promised no more sleep stuff, but I couldn’t resist sharing what I read a second ago:
A desperate father came to the master for advice. "We cannot go on like this, please give me guidance," said the man on the verge of tears. "We have ten children, and we live in a one-room wooden hut. In the small yard, we have a goat that gives us milk. We are too crowded and the conditions have become impossible." The master responded slowly and confidently, "Bring the goat into the hut," he said. "What?" asked the perplexed man. "Bring the goat in," repeated the master peacefully. The man went home and because of his great trust in the master, and in spite of his wife's protest, brought the goat into their one crowded room. Things went from bad to worse. After one week the man couldn't resist and went back to the master. "Master," he cried out, "The goat in the room is not helping. It is much worse. Please help!" "Take the goat out," said the master. The man leaped with joy as he rushed back home with the great news. The family found that ten children in one room was a blessing. - Mothering Magazine
Similarly Calvin’s two-a-night awakenings, once annoyances, have been uncloaked by trial and error and shown for what they are: blessings, as well. I really could not see this before. Well, I didn't mind them so much but I saw them as something to fix not accept. All I saw was cultural labelings and what experts say about Cal being old enough to go without food for the night. But breastfeeding is an experience in addition to nourishment. It really is a moment in time, a space for us to just be.
So after attempting to get him to go full nights without nursing, I found that those feedings mean a lot to Cal and to myself and that I don’t mind them, especially when juxtaposed against an unhappy and tired baby and mom and dad. Less nighttime feedings also diminished my supply, something the experts don't mention often enough.
I hold close those gentle and quiet moments at dawn with my son and think that we’ll let go of them when we’re ready. Now that we’re back to our usual nursing times, I get up without a negative thought – for I know these are but fleeting moments in our lives and that they’ll soon become apart of that cherished and elaborate quilt in my mind made up of our fondest memories together.
