getting out of sleep debt

I … need … sleep. The experts say there’s a sleep banking system; if so, I’m in the red and have accumulated debt little by little, spending a little more energy each day than I can replenish by sleeping. I get enough sleep, but not the kind of stone-cold sleep I got before Calvin joined us on the outside, and that’s OK, because all I’m on the prowl for is something like a five-hour continuous stream of sleep.

I’m not normally this tired. Albeit our struggles with getting our son to sleep, I haven’t lost bulk sleep in any real way. In part, I think, it’s because Cal sleeps tucked up next to me and I can meet his every three-hour squawk with a tummy rub or a feed and lull him back from whence he came. I have enjoyed snuggling at night with the baby boy and I’ve adapted to sleeping with an arched arm that swerves over Cal’s head and acts like his own private entryway to sleepland. But my sleep tricks are increasingly met with resistance and have become less, not more, effective over time. And I dare say a couple of times last week I spent several hours bouncing Cal to bed on our exercise ball – jiggling us both into a stupor of sort, my whole body tired and Cal frustrated because we were getting nowhere fast. The thing is that I’ve given my sweet boy no tools with which to get himself to sleep or back – and that’s gotta change. In addition to that, I’m the only one at my house who wields the magic touch at sleepy time.

So this week, I will ease Cal into his own room and use a routine I read about where we stay with him but slowly introduce opportunities for him to soothe himself to sleep, moving further away. I’ve stalled this tack before because I feared the crying, but I, or Shaun, will be right there with him while he learns his new skill (I keep replaying this part to myself in my head). Right now, we’re in the stage where Cal and I sleep on Cal’s floor to get him used to the idea that his room will now host all sleep activities (which is one reason for my lack of sleep today – futon sleep ramped up on anxieties from the upcoming sleep changes, plus my usual rounds with Cal, left me awake, not asleep). But I’m sticking to the idea that this change will be a good thing, and that we’ll all emerge, in some weeks, with bigger bank accounts – and the puffy eyed blues just a mere memory.