Over the weekend I couldn’t help thinking where I was this time last year .... The day before mother’s day I found out I was pregnant – a raspberry cluster of cells was accumulating in my body – and eight months hence my life would never be the same. For the duration of my pregnancy I couldn’t fathom giving birth to a baby … a human … a seriously complex life form. Even during labor I was skeptical. Although I was assured many times that you can’t stay pregnant forever. Good news 50 hours in. Still, I can’t believe what a miracle life is. Forget our minds, our bodies are truly divine.Back to my original point, mother’s day was pretty cool. Shaun summed it up when I asked him if he had fun. “It was relaxing,” he said. We sprawled out under trees and enjoyed the whole wheatness of the whole earth festival. Cal was passed around as usual, and stared at. Staring at Cal is like indulging in chocolate chip cookies. You can't stop. It's helpful that he seems happiest with all the human entertainment and the large cast of fresh faces that smile at and sing to him. I hope so much socialization will cultivate someone who enjoys the company of people.
One of the truly fascinating things about babies is that they bloom right before you. It's like they grow up not just in days but while you turn your head. Sometime in the last week or two Cal found his thumb. Now he sucks on it like he always knew it was there, thumb couched in his left cheek, fingers dangling outside. For weeks we talked about him finding it and loving it, and he has. Onto the next thing.
On Tuesday he rolled for the first time (see video below, just seconds after that first roll). I was lying next to the boy (thankfully on the froggy play gym), goofing around when I saw swift movement to my left. Craning my neck, I discovered that Cal had done a 180 and was wriggling around, belly down. I flopped him back, like right siding a flailing beetle, to see if this first roll was a fluke. Sure enough, back to front, and, this time, front to back. Oh glory! I yelped for Shaun and we witnessed a few more rolls. He starts the rolls by bending his knees and using his legs for momentum to get to his side and then his stomach.
Cal can also stretch his neck out pretty far while on his belly, propped up on his elbows. He takes on a turtle-like quality when he does this, as Ggma pointed out. It's amazing that his tiny neck can support his adorable noggin with its bright blue eyes and amazing smiles.
For the remaining Tuesday and all day Wednesday we watched Cal roll. My early gift for Mother’s Day was a midweek Calboy vacation. I took both Tuesday and Wednesday off last week to nurse what I thought was a bad cold but turned out to be a wisdom tooth infection. Anyway, I got that sucker knocked out Friday, so I’m back to good form today.
To end this entirely unfocused entry I’d like to say that being a mother, I have a complete new appreciation for them. I mean, I’m so full of gratitude for my own mother (and father) who nourished me through babyhood and beyond. I was dependent on them for everything and they were there for me. Through wakeful nights they rocked and loved and fed me. Thank you mom. Thank you dad.
But mothering comes in lots of forms and I'm going to celebrate my nurturing, mothering self everyday, not just mother’s day, for it’s an act that not only calls on me to be a better more patient version of myself but brings a bounty of the kind of joy I've never known. It's what fills me to the brim.
