A lot of people like to ask how I feel about my new “hood.” Motherhood, that is. It’s one of those simple questions that is pretty much unanswerable. But I’ll attempt it here in under 200 words. Motherhood is life magnified by a million. It is tremendously joyful watching and taking part in the growth of a new human being. It is also tremendously scary being responsible for this exquisite, budding life.
Holding Cal and making him smile brings a serenity I’ve never experienced, nor one that I can really explain. But hearing him cry makes my insides sting.
I guess the challenge in parenthood is to balance the emotional highs and lows – to try and take my crazy feelings out of the equation and to be the stable, loving, consistent parent Cal needs to thrive, even on his own someday.
My other challenge is to meet any parental guilt with an understanding that I’m doing the very best I can. Here’s a Maya Angelou quote that has given me strength in this respect: “I did what I knew to do, and when I knew better, I did better.”
So, at its essence, motherhood is a new challenge to balance and grow and learn without looking back – all the while enjoying the highs, lows and inbetweens.
